Parenting is difficult, but it doesn’t have to be something you do alone. Recently, a woman named Brittany Cole found herself stumped by something her daughter has started doing. When telling Brittany about her day at school, sometimes she’ll refer to her friends by their physical traits, so Mom knows who she’s talking about. In doing so, some of her friends will be called fat. Although her daughter isn’t saying this to her friends’ faces, she started to worry that she’d unintentionally be mean to them one day.
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Here’s where Brittany struggled: Her daughter doesn’t view fat as a bad thing. She’ll often refer to herself or someone in her family as fat, but it’s clearly in a positive connotation. Plus, lots of folks are working toward making the word “fat” a neutral descriptor rather than an insult. This is something Brittany wants, too, so she’s been hesitant to tell her daughter that the word is bad when it isn’t — it’s society’s view of the word that’s the problem. So, in turn, Mom reached out to folks online for their thoughts and feedback.
@brittmcole If its all about intent this is okay right? 🫠
♬ original sound – Britt Knee
As you might imagine, the discussion on what Brittany should do got a bit heated. Because the word fat still holds a negative connotation by society as a whole, there are people who feel very deeply about the way a situation like this should be handled.
When a Kid Called a Classmate Fat, This Mom Reached Out For Advice
In the end, though, Brittany chose to take the advice of those who recommend gently steering her kid away from using any kind of physical descriptors rather than focusing on just the word fat. This decision is something Brittany discusses in the video below.
“My son is 5 and this is why I’ve always had a ‘we don’t comment on others bodies’ rule,” one Mom explains. “And I don’t let anyone use words like ‘fat’ or ‘skinny’ around them. They learn that verbiage at home.”
@brittmcole Replying to @Teachasaurus ♬ original sound – Britt Knee
By having her child focus less on physical descriptors, and more on things like hobbies or interests, Brittany hopes to encourage her to view these elements of a person as more important than the way look. Although each parents communicates to their kid differently, this truly seems like such a great option! It’s so great to see parents help each other out, even if they don’t know each other personally.
“The fact you’re asking ANYTHING means you’re a GREAT mom,” one person notes.
“The ones who get it, get it,” another says. “You’re doing a good job.”
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