What Willie Nelson’s Song-Writing Method Taught Me About Love & Life.

My blue eyes have cried in the rain. My blue eyes have released the downpour that sees no end. And I’m sure your eyes have, too.

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I love so wholeheartedly even I can’t stand it sometimes. You pride yourself on how you love and how you give… at least I have. They say it’s better to give than receive. It’s always better to give a piece of your heart than a piece of your mind (I should remember this while I’m driving).

But, let me tell you, when your soul starts to die instead of thrive, it’s time to push all of that aside and listen to these words from Willie Nelson. And, as a side note, girls, always choose yourself. Always. Always. Always. You are your biggest fan. You are your own best friend. You got you. People will fail you. Men will fail you. I have a feeling Willie Nelson won’t fail you, though. Listen up.

I’m not writing this from a bitter standpoint but rather an honest one.

In an interview, I heard Willie say that if he is writing a song and the words do not naturally flow, the song is not meant to be written so he stops writing. Let’s apply this logic to good ole’, crazy love.

According to Willie, you should never have to force the words on the paper. I’ve applied Willie’s writing method to my very own writing and it works. Now, I’m applying it to my personal life. Life is short and we have important stuff that burns inside us to conquer. We have bucket lists to check off. Dreams to crush. Memories to make. We often lose ourselves in someone else when that love bug starts buzzing circles around us. It’s the only bug most of us run to instead of from. But, if we’re forcing it to bite us, we may be waiting a while.

With so much on the horizon and so much life to live, why keep losing yourself in what doesn’t seem natural?

I’m done “Crying in the Rain”… at least over people who don’t matter.

Girls, aren’t you as well?

If so, allow these words of wisdom from Willie to be the melody to your anthem and to trickle over to other areas of your life where you’re struggling to feel worthy.

This message is not limited to love. If it doesn’t flow, don’t force it.

If you have to force it, if you have to fight too darn hard for it  — to the point you’re always having to prove yourself and make yourself shine in order to win someone (or something) over, then it’s not flowing so naturally. It’s not the song of your heart. It’s time to put the paper down and write a new song. Or at least wait until the words come to you and write themselves.

Life is way too short to have to work that hard at something that should occur naturally. Work that hard at something else — that’s worth it. Certain things are worth fighting for. Trying to win the love of someone who doesn’t see your worth is not. If the words don’t flow, Willie’s not writing the song. If the relationship doesn’t flow, it’s not going to make it to a love song either. That’s the cold, hard, no-one-wants-to-hear-but-needs-to truth. I’m not just preaching to the choir. I’m preaching to myself. I write for you, but I also write for myself. I need my words just as much as you might need them.

Of course, it’s not so easy to shut off a love you really want. It’s so much easier to wait until tomorrow and try again. I feel your pain. When the words don’t flow, we can try again tomorrow. When the love doesn’t flow back to us, we fight through the night to see the light of tomorrow. For me, especially, it’s hard to imagine my life without a certain someone. If you’ve been following my stories thus far, you probably have a sense of my conflicted heart. I’ll be so authentic right now because behind all these stories is just a girl who is no different than the people reading her words. I’m going through it just like many of you are or have been. I’m real. I don’t write these stories for any other reason than my love of writing, hope to spread wisdom, and coping. Writing is how I cope. Writing is my lifeline. Writing is also how I get back to myself.

Get back to yourself, Felicia. Get back to yourself, world.

See, lately, I feel lost in someone. The chemistry has never felt more right to me, so I hang on. And I hang on. And I hang on to every word and dissect every mixed signal. And most days, I pour from an empty cup. But, there’s something so magical about him that I hang on tightly. When you hang on tightly, though, there is a sense of that force (similar to what Willie Nelson speaks of) that comes with a grip so strong. When you’re gripping, you need to let go. As I mimic Willie’s idea, I see that force is the opposite of flow. You shouldn’t have to hold tight to anything in your life. At least not so tight that you’re afraid to let go. And, you shouldn’t have to force what isn’t free-flowing either.

I have to keep telling myself that the sting doesn’t last forever. I also have to tell myself that the self-respect that you muster through the tumultuous days will carry you through life. The strength you build adds to your character and in turn, adds to just how worthy you really are.

I know one sentence I can write without hesitation over and over again.

You always get through.

After a decade-plus of broken hearts, yes, you always get through.

And many stories later, the words that are meant to be written always find a way to live just as the life that is meant to be lived will always find a way, too.

Thanks, Willie.